Sometimes I wish I knew what to do, what corners to turn, or what decisions to make. The ugly truth is I don't. I've always had a distinct plan for things I wanted to accomplish. It has catered to my stability and need for control, but sometimes life doesn't go according to plan and God's hands begin to take control. It is in those times where I feel the most emotional distress. What do you do when you have a plan, and despite all of the right steps you've taken, things don't go according to schedule?
COVID -19 has become a life changing pandemic, people have lost jobs, family members and the ability to choose how they want to live life. With the help of prayer and family I have grown to find the positive side of these drastic changes, but I still have my days of uncertainty.
In those doubtful times I begin to question and reflect on different decisions in my life. Sometimes when life begins to drop from your control, you question it, "why aren't things going my way?"
Maybe the unplanned changes happen for reason we have yet to understand. Maybe you're out of control so you can realize things you had forgotten when you were in control. Maybe when life was going according to your plans, you took advantage of it. Things like family, love, downtime, connection, or even the problems of life that we have avoided
What if this pandemic ended right now? Would you be spending as much quality time with your family? Would you miss the opportunity to lear amongst others? Would you be paying as much attention to the health of both your body and your mind? To be completely honest, I know I wouldn't be.
Earlier today I was watching this show called Grey's Anatomy, and there was a man that was admitted to the hospital. For 14 years he was in a coma. The man couldn't talk, hear , see, or feel. He was frozen in time as his family and their lives kept moving. After 14 years of being pronounced a vegetable he slowly woke up out of his coma. He had a son, who was 17 at that point, and a wife , who was remarried and pregnant.
Do you think that before this coma he thought twice about never being able to see, or be with his family, talk to his son, or have another child with his wife? Probably not, when you're used to something, when life is going according to plan, you get comfortable and begin to appreciate those little things less. You take those little things for granted, but once those things become absent,you never want to let them go. All you want to do is appreciate the little things you once lost.
After a while of living our lives, we grow accustomed to schedules. Beginning to miss the enjoyment in all aspects of living. It takes experiencing something traumatic like going into comas, or worldwide sicknesses to force that attention to the details around us.
Having control over what happens in my life is something I surely don't take for granted , it's something I wish I had right now, but maybe it takes dealing with the emotional confusion and uncertainty of not having control, that will humble me and make me appreciate all of the things I may not see.
Until next time, stay safe, wash your hands, and spread love not germs.
-xoxo, JayhlinMichele